Apparently I’m Not Alone
There’s a news article on the Toronto Star website called Bringing up baby … later. The article talks about the number of women that are choosing to have their babies later in life. According to the article, “Statistics Canada’s national study of births in 2003 found that 47.9 per cent of women giving birth were over 30 — a dramatic shift from 1983, when only 24.6 per cent of women who gave birth were over 30.”

Late last year I blogged about the frequency at which I was being asked as to when I would be having a baby, and my frustration with being asked that question. In the past couple of years, I’ve witnessed the majority of my female friends become wonderful mothers (and have beautiful babies). I’ve witnessed first hand the changes in the lives of my friends as they (rightly) devote themselves to their children and I’ve stood a little off to the side as I watch these new moms (and dads) bond with other new parents. As a non-mother (and occasionally reminded of such by ‘smug-parents’, another blog topic from last year) I’ve come to see motherhood as almost like a secret sisterhood that (unintentionally) excludes the non-parent.

I was told the other day that I have a ‘poor attitude’ when it comes to being a non-parent in a world of new parents. My initial response to that was to acknowledge the fact that lately, I find myself being drawn towards the company of women that are in their late 30s-early 40s that don’t have kids. But when I thought about it a bit more, if I were to try and explain this ‘poor attitude’, then I would perhaps suggest that it stems from loneliness and the unintentional exclusion of this secret sisterhood of motherhood.

But apparently, I’m not alone after all and I’m not the only woman who’s waiting to have children. According to the article in the Star, on why people are waiting, “we wait longer to make the big decisions that mark various transitions in the life course… and then you throw into this mix effective birth control and a culture of expressive individualism, which encourages people to seek individual happiness and experience.”

And it would appear that there are other couples who share similiar goals as Tay and me – a couple in the article stated that they “plan to travel, solidify their careers and buy a house”. (I imagine it would be difficult to stay up all night in a casino in Vegas with a baby in tow.)

It’s reassuring to know that I’m not alone – for a while, I was certainly feeling that way. But now, when people ask me when I’m planning to have a baby, I can back myself up with statistics – I can say that I’m part of the 47.9 per cent that are waiting until after they’re 30 :).

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