Quote of the Day:

“Are you drunk? You’re not drunk!”

“Oh, I’m drunk enough…”

Song of the Day:

ScarTissue, Red Hot Chili Peppers

Oh Boy.

Helen’s wedding was this weekend; the wedding, while simple, was lovely; Helen made a lovely bride. Probably one of the better weddings I’ve been to in fact; I got soooo drunk at the reception, couldn’t even tell you the last time I drank like that. Renu and I hooked up with DL and his girlfriend just after the wedding, we thought it could be awkward considering all the TLL stuff but DL was in topform, laying on the charm and laughing his infectious laugh. DL was paying a lot of attention to me, calling me Tawn, buying me drinks, getting me cake after they’d sliced it. Renu kept telling me that he was hitting on me – the whole thing was damn surreal. I can’t say I minded it, it’s not very often that a wealthy-wealthy goodlooking 40-something year old spends the night flirting with me :).

Hi…? Do you know where the LCBO is?

There was an hour in between the wedding and reception where the wedding party were off getting their photos taken, and Renu and I decided that we should go see if we could find an LCBO in Pembroke. Darren gave us the general direction where the liquor store would be so we hopped in the car and went – but found out pretty quickly just how elusive the alcohol in Pembroke could be. After driving around for a few minutes, I suggested Renu ask someone for directions – we chose a guy with long curly hair, piercings and a guitar. Did he know where the LCBO was? You bet he did :). The directions were probably pretty good, but we were pretty giddy and soon got lost – we pulled over at a grocery store and asked another guy – he too looked like he would know, and he definitely did. “You bet!” he says, and gives us the directions, which sounded easy enough until we went to follow them and STILL couldn’t find the booze. So we stopped again for directions, chosing this time to ask two guys. This time, we got results. “We need to go there,” one of them said. “We’ll take you.” I looked at Renu, not sure if they meant they’d climb in the car and ride with us, but that’s not what they meant because they started walking. We trailed along behind them going 20 km/hr and I’m wondering if we’re going to follow them in this manner all the way to the LCBO. But then one of they guys, starting to laugh, points out his minivan with a kayak on top of it as being theirs. We drive up to it, they get in and they take us to the LCBO – which was literally on the only street I think we hadn’t checked. The two guys pull into the parking lot, turn around and head back out the direction they came – I guess they didn’t have to go there really in the first place :). As we’re getting out – Renu all the time saying that she feels like a hooker in her little black dress and that she’ll kill me if some guy asks her her rates – we run into the guy we met at the grocery store. He tells us he should have just told him to follow HIM to the LCBO – no shortage of helpful guys in Pembroke :).

I wasn’t sure what to get you, so I got you something that was big.

I was half in the bag by the time the reception started – I had gotten a 4pk of Smirnoff Ice at the LCBO and had dranken 1 and a 1/2 pretty quickly waiting for dinner. We had white wine throughout dinner – it took me about 3 glasses to get through the meal and all those toasts :). After dinner, DL came along to find out what I was interested in drinking – I tried for a Cosmopolitan, but this was Pembroke – so when DL asked what else, I told him to surprise me. My surprise came in the form of a rye and ginger – the biggest drink DL could find. I didn’t like it at first, but by my second one, I was loving it :). At one point, DL got stuck with a rum & coke when he’d wanted a rye & ginger so we swapped – so that was thrown in the mix too – and it was pretty yum :). Oh Ya, I almost forgot about the shot of vodka ;).

Reasons NOT to get drunk with a former boss:

Me: You’re not drunk. Are you drunk?

DL: “Oh, I’m drunk enough…”

Me: “Ask me any question, and I’ll answer honestly.”

*Long, steady gaze from DL*

DL: “How many men-”

Renu (interrupting): “Have you slept with?”

DL: “-cooked dinner for?”

Me: “Does my father count?”

DL: “Sure.”

Me: “Then six?”

DL’s GF: “That’s too many.”

(Not exactly sure what this convesation meant. I answered DAVE’s question, Renu said he was really implying what SHE asked. Who knows? I was drunk :).

DL: “Do you have any more gum?”

Me: “Oh sure.”

*Contents of purse gets dumped out on table: Couple of tiny empty vodka bottles, six books of souvenir wedding matches -*

DL (observing all this): Smoke much? Jesus, what are you going to pull out next? Condoms?”

Me: “If I have another drink, I’m going to be flat on my back.”

DL: “That’s the plan, isn’t it?”

At one point, and I remember this happening (but can’t explain the WHY) I had DL by the lapels of his suit. Renu and I died laughing when we recalled it the next day. We were also invited to DL and GF’s housewarming party – were told emphatically to not bother bringing any alcohol. At the end of the night, DL very nicely took my hand and kissed my cheek – then did the same to Renu. Hmmmph. I guess there’s a side to him we never really saw in the midst of all the sordidness at TLL.

What Else?

Can there really be anything else? The little party favors on the tables had Hershey kisses – and I was LOVING those – so I casually walked around the room collecting as many as I could carry. Of course, my discreteness was occurring only in my head – our whole table was aware of what I was doing by the time I got back. I didn’t care…Chocolate kisses… :). I also remember a conversation with Jess (Helen’s good friend and bridesmaid) where I told her she had the most beautiful hair out of everyone in the room, that she was one of the prettiest bridesmaid and that she looked like Cinderella. She tried telling me that she had gained 75lbs since having her son, but it didn’t matter – she’s still lovely :). Then there was the moment when I grabbed Helen and pulled her down to me where I impulsively licked her face. Have I mentioned that I was drunk???

Around 12:30, Renu dragged me up to the hotel room – I resisted most of the way, I hadn’t quite finished – we were having SOOOOO much fun with some of the girls that sat at our table with us. Not only did they keep talking to us and asking us questions but they would keep dragging us onto the dance floor. There was one girl who was such a cute dancer – she had a butt and knew how to use it :). I remember Renu grabbing me and asking me how did she do that – she was fascinated. She said she wanted to learn how to do that so she could do it for Jai. So I went over to her and asked her to teach Renu. LOL LOL. I’m so glad that we were getting along well with the other guests and that everyone loved Renu – she was very worried that she wouldn’t fit in. (Pembroke is not a diverse town AT ALL. When we had lunch earlier at the Irving Big Stop, there was about 60 pple eating their lunch and they were ALL white; she now understands exactly how I felt last Sunday at Jagrit’s lunch. ) Anyhow, we finally get to the room around 1:00, while I wash up and brush my teeth, Renu falls asleep. I laid down and the room started spinning but it stopped eventually, only to start again every time I got up to go pee which was a lot. Renu woke up everytime I went to the bathroom, every time I came back to bed, she asked me if I had thrown up. And I kept saying, “No, why? Do you want me to throw up??” Renu was taking very good care of me, she was very concerned – I think she was worried because I had drank so much. It was a lonnnnnng night – I hardly slept at all, I don’t think the alcohol wore off until about 6am… and then I ended up sleeping ok with the exception of a few more bathroom trips. When Renu woke up at 9, she looked over at my bed and saw a shape beneath the sheets – I had put pillows along side me so that it felt like Tay – and she thought there was someone in bed with me. She was ready to kick my ass until she realized it was only pillows :). I woke up then and despite all the booze I wasn’t really hung over – my stomach was slightly nauseous and my head was a little sore but that was about it. I think I got off lucky :).

The Friday Five

1. When was the last time you laughed? Today, after we got back to Renu’s and we were telling Jai about the reception.

2. Who was the last person you had an argument with? Renu – silly drunken argument last night.

3. Who was the last person you emailed? Ummmm…would have been work related – probably someone on the development team.

4. When was the last time you bathed? Couple of hours ago – showered when I got home.

5. What was the last thing you ate? Rice and pork curry at Renu’s. Yum :).

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